You can't control everything that happens at your wedding, but you can control yourself.

Brides: How to stay cool when things get hot
By Mara Severin

Wedding stress can turn even the sweetest bride sour, so here's advice on how to keep your sanity, keep your friends, and enjoy your wedding

Tum tum di dum... Here comes the bride... all ready for a fight. No, that's not it. Cursing with all her might? Be careful, she might bite?

OK, OK, you know the words - the bride is dressed in white. But sometimes the woman in white is seeing red. We've all heard of, and some of us have seen, the beautiful bride behaving, well, less than beautifully. Months of planning, a houseful of family (both functional and dysfunctional), a week (or more) of parties, and the pressures of starting a whole new way of life can culminate into one stressful day. Is it any wonder that so many brides go from Cinderella to Bridezilla?

"It's an emotional time," says one local wedding planner, with an air of understatement. She was once on the receiving end of a tantrum thrown by an out-of-town bride.

The crime? Pulling over on the side of the road to check out a magnificent view. The water was suddenly full of beluga whales, and the wedding planner thought the bride would want to see this incredible sight.

Apparently not. The bride became hysterical until they were at the hotel. The wedding went off without a hitch and afterwards the bride didn't remember having thrown the fit. She probably doesn't remember the whales either.

Karla DeLong of DeLong Weddings in Wasilla attended a wedding where the bride began throwing, not just a fit, but actual chairs.

"Some guests had left, and her mother began to clean up," she recalls. She thought her mother's actions were causing her guests to leave. The fact that it was after midnight could not convince her that she was wrong.

Amie Haakenson of Your Event Planner in Anchorage heard one bride scream at her mother because she had incorrectly sewn a comb onto an heirloom veil. Her exact words were, "You've ruined my day!" The bride's day was ruined even before the first notes of the Wedding March were played. It must have been a very long day indeed.

Remember, perfection is overrated

So you dream of being a "blushing bride," but you don't want to find yourself blushing for all the wrong reasons. We asked the experts on how to make sure any tears you shed on your wedding day are tears of joy, not shame.
First of all, advises DeLong, "don't plan for perfection." If you anticipate a mishap or two, you'll be much better able to "roll with the punches," she says. Sometimes it's the "mishaps" that create the warmest memories of the day.
After all, says Haakenson, the only real crises are, "no bride, no groom, no license or no officiant." Anything else can be fixed, ignored or laughed at. You can't control everything that happens at your wedding, but you can control yourself.

Take time to smell the roses - you'll feel much less thorny

Don't wait until your honeymoon to allow yourself to relax. Take some time for yourself throughout the planning.
Plan night on the town with your friends and put a moratorium on wedding talk. Make it a rule - if you break it, the margaritas are on you. You'll enjoy the break, and believe me, so will your friends.

Don't be Professor Higgins

Remember that your attendants and family are not your personal slaves, fashion models, nor are they your "Eliza Dolittles" whose only job is to make you look good. Expect reasonable cooperation in regards to dresses, fittings and jewelry, but do not expect anyone to: dye their hair to match your color schemes, remove tattoos, spend hundreds of dollars on shoes, and/or lose 20 pounds.

Sometimes less is more

You're planning a wedding, not a war so you can do away with certain things previously deemed "traditional." Not superstitious? Consider having your photos taken before the ceremony when you're still fresh - then you won't be delayed on your way to that well-deserved glass of champagne. Or, suggests Haakenson, consider eliminating the receiving line. Maybe you and your spouse could "dismiss" each row at the church giving you a moment to greet all of your guests.

Promising to honor and obey - the wedding professionals, that is

One thing all our wedding planners agree upon is this: In the final days before the wedding, the bride who wishes to maintain her sanity has to relinquish the wedding to someone else.
Delegate, delegate, delegate, DeLong advises. "Be it a wedding planner, your attendants, your mother, or the various professionals involved, you simply have to let it go," says DeLong. "Trust the people involved," she urges. "You chose them, now trust them. Now your job is to just wake up and be the beautiful bride."

And remember, if you lose your poise or your temper on your wedding day, your friends and family will probably forgive you. But you may never forgive yourself.

Get more great advice! Pick up a copy of Alaska Bride & Groom on newsstands now. Alaska Bride & Groom is your complete Alaska wedding guide.