by Eric Wallace

Distressing things can happen during even the best of weddings.

•  The caterer turns surly and makes everyone jumpy.
•  The photographer insults the bridesmaids.
•  The DJ sabotages the videographer's lighting needs.
•  The venue manager changes the layout without consultation.
•  The florist ignores the bride's arrangement choices.
•  The wedding coordinator starts dancing, eating, drinking and making merry with the guests.

Ideally, incidents like these don't all happen at one event, but such problems do occur - and it's usually because the couple hasn't chosen their vendors wisely.

Every vendor should perfectly suit your needs - and your temperament. And each should be able to work cooperatively with other wedding providers.

" It is a mistake to assume that all vendors are created equal," says Kate Kamrath, director of catering at the Anchorage Marriott Downtown. "Each vendor has different attributes and must be carefully examined prior to final selection."

Getting started
The easy part is compiling a list of possible vendors. Read Alaska Bride & Groom magazine. Visit bridal fairs. And be sure to use that invaluable resource - word of mouth.

" Word of mouth references are 10 times more important than any brochure or fancy sales pitch," says John Conn of DotConn Productions Videography.

But carefully weigh who is making the referral. Is it an offhand mention by a casual acquaintance or a solid recommendation from a friend you know and trust?

Vendor compatibility
It's essential to choose vendors who work well with each other. When providers don't interact well, you'll suffer additional stress before or during your wedding.

So how do you find vendors who are compatible?
" This is where a wedding coordinator is worth their weight in gold," says Suzanne Davis of Weddings by Suzanne. "They assess the needs and personalities of the couple and help select the best vendors."

Inquire at bridal fairs, advise Mark Linden and Sharon McCaffrey of Am Chef-Will Travel Fine Catering. Vendors will refer to one another, allowing you to get a feel for those who work well together, or simply ask vendors point blank how well they work with other specific vendors you are considering.

The interviews
It's very important to check references and to view work samples from each vendor who's made your list. But more importantly, you and your sweetie need to conduct in-depth, face-to-face interviews. And be on your mental and intuitive toes!

" Look for vendors who tell you what they can do for you," says Robin Hill of Mylord's Floral. "Look for those whose primary concern is you and your event. They'll go the extra mile for you."
Take careful note and look beyond what the vendor shows you, advises John Conn. Look around their office, studio or bakery and take a reading on their personality and professionalism. You'll find plenty of subtle clues to help you decide whether or not a vendor is right for you, he says. "The least important of these really should be price."

Keep the importance of personality at the top of your must-have list. Your vendors' personalities and attitudes will have a lot to do with how much you actually enjoy your wedding day. A friendly vendor will most likely "add joy to your big day," says Kate Kamrath. "One you don't get along with can add stress."

Oops! or Wow!
Karen and Mike Driscoll went against their best instincts and hired two vendors who at first resisted Karen's ideas, then appeared to give in. But during the wedding both vendors reverted to "their own way of doing it, not ours.'"

Karen laughs ruefully: "We should have walked out the door when those vendors said, 'This is how I do it!' and not 'How would you like your special day to happen?'"

Tabitha Scott's wedding stands in happy contrast to any vendor horror stories.

" It was pretty much perfect from every aspect," smiles Tabitha. "I know that's a rare thing, and I believe it came from the expertise of the individual vendors I selected and the high level of communication that I had with everyone. If you select the correct people, you can depend on them to do their jobs and help make your day perfect."

Read more about planning the ultimate Alaskan wedding. Pick up a copy of Alaska Bride & Groom magazine, on newsstands now. Alaska Bride & Groom is your complete Alaska wedding guide.